I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
