Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
