We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
do nipples grow back?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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