she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
