My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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