their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
