Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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