I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
