omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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