My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
