don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Your penis caused this!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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