I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Holy sore nipples Batman
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
