Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
