im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
