i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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