Reggie can tackle my bush.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My feet surprised me
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