I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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