I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
