I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize