dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
its liver damage thursday
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
