You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
