New low: just hacked my moms facebook
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
