I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Houston, we have a squirter
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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