my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
