If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
