you win again, gameday.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You took a bar mat shot.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
