Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
pray to the hookup gods
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
