I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
