2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
