Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
