and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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