I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
