Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
