when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
