i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
