HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
