Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
