I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
