I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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