my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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