We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
