Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
