But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
