The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
