Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
