Have you finally orgasmed yet?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
