Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
