no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
