Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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