Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
