Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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