The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
