No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
